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did you...

Did you think that your objective,
  your heart's desire, was out of place?
Did you think that the best advise
  was to do what everyone else does?
Did you think..... and was squashed by your own timidity and doubt?

Where and have you been created by the slothiness of the failure of others?
Where and have you designed by fear of those who don't, can't or not know how to oppose?

Hold your own and rejoice in your failure.
Your failure.
Your Soul is craving to be! To be projected into the world, the universe...

It is better to have cried than to stir through a broken window of your dreams. 
I won't be the first and I won't be the last, Do not be shamed, because it is your failure.

Going to be a Father

What is this about? It's everything.

I'm reaching half a century and I'm going to be a Dad for the first time. We found out that he is a Boy... a boy...

The miracle that was occurring is unseen... unknowing at first.
The miracle of life on earth... every spiritual being walking by is a miracle.
Each coming into existence, fate, destiny, chance, serendipity, accident, luck, the dice are thrown...

and we live with what is given to us.

and others live with their choice...

and we are ready, a Mother is born into the role? Her instincts natural, intuned with the life that is dwelling within her existence, he, her son, preparing for the outside world.

I have to prepare my inner world, to be a patient Father... knowing the tiring late nights,
to be a messy Father... there is no escape to the mess they produce,
to be a fun Father... this won't be a problem!
to be a serious Father... hidden deep within - a preparing the path for our Son... a Loving Home, an Education, giving hi…

Anxiety

Speaker of insight, tell me of anxiety?

I have often thought, why I was anxious in my youth and I know the answer...

Tell me?

I can tell you my story of anxieties and how they have faded over time, until one morning I gave up on them all, the narrative that wanted to govern me was released.

Narrative?

The voice that is geared to the external.. the easiess, the desires of the heart that lay outside of me.

And his arms stretched around him

But these externals

And his arms stretched around him

Are necessary...? 

There are somethings that are essential.  But it goes the other way. It is knowing what is essential.... essential for the internal. The deep side of the self that wishes to rest in stillness... and in that a silence we recognise the vibrations we send, the frequency that enable others to hear us, this is a  different listening....

Teach me how to listen differently?

Listening, is a language in itself... it is a language of God.

Teach me this language?

Indeed I will. The only lesson…

Once more unto the breach dear friends, no more!

Once more unto the breach dear friends, no more!
War is Not family entertainment,
we rejoice in our heroes as they valiantly return,
we mourn the fallen heroes as their carried from the plane,
and in the background, the industry of warfare profit...
and in the background, the elite raise a glass,
to those who fell - for a just war – and – they - smile…. In peace, man and woman delight in the world…
And when the propaganda machine blasts their trumpet… we fall sway to this foul and odious notion… that there are just wars.
And I say to you, peoples of the earth, there is no just war... there is only war. Sons and Daughters on both sides have fallen!
Fallen away and never to return to their parent’s arms!
Fallen to a political paradigm which is culturally ingrained into the consciousness of their being,
a political and social acceptability that suggests that the military has a right to go into schools, to advertise in the cinema, to stand outside jobcentres, to promote their evil in the city stree…

Fate

Was my accident an accident?  Was it life teaching me a lesson?
fate then whispered into my soul and it said "smile" 
As I acknowledge my lesson, and understand the meaning  fate smiled and whispered in my soul and it said "smile"  
And I accepted the whispered words of fate and with a humbleness and openness, my heart became wide for those I met then fate whispered.... "don't be fooled by unconscious intent, it won't be me all the time" 
And I was confused... but fate embraced me and whispered in my soul and it said, "smile" 
And then I knew the answer...  The chaos of the conscious heart lay waste in front of me and I opened my hand to greet it.  I opened my heart to accept it.  I opened my being... knowing I would act accordingly, I would act with kindness...  I would act with compassion, whilst the conscious mind lay waste to my dreams. 
And fate whispered "smile"  And I smiled with an open hand. 



the escape from reality

I witness them, those three...

Awaiting for the vulnerable, those in pain, those who need to escape from reality...

They sit, the dealer, the maker and the one who will deliver further pain if needed.

They sit, waiting for the next transaction...

Their voices are hard... dark... and menacing.

Their eyes are dead... especially from the leader. His eyes full of suspicion.

They live in a world haunted by lost dreams. They live in a the middle of a world filled with sadness and they have armoured themselves from this... for the profit is made from the tears of others.

Guard your emotions, anxieties and obstacles from these three, they have an answer... an answer that will freeze you in time... unable to move through the obstacles that each one of us have... conquer the profiteers of our tears and by heading into the storm... learn to stagger, learn to pick yourself up, stumble, shout and scream, howl to the wind... let the world hear your cry... but through the storm you will still find t…

the innocent and the good

I crumbled under the weight of everyone's pain...
I fell flat and bloodied.
It didn't matter that I lay messed up... their view of life was the important issue...
the life they lived... the life they thought was right... the life without alternatives...
It was right I was battered, for they did not know why what they did... and so I had to show them the horror of their pain.
They dragged me to the hill and nailed me to the cross... propelled up for all to witness! The foulest of deaths.
I forgave them of their selfishness, their unknowing, their blindness! And as the last breath left me... they turned to another... for their suffering was quenched by the blood of the innocent and the good.